Melanie: Redeemed from Adultery & Drug Dependency

If you had met me a decade ago, you’d have seen a very different woman.  I was a divorced, single mother struggling to figure out how to live on my own.  I had been married for 6 years to the first man to show interest in me.  We had a beautiful son together, tolerated each other and outgrew each other quickly.

After my marriage ended I started on a dangerous journey of pursuing married men.  Feeling powerless in my marriage for years, I discovered I did have power over men in regards to sex.  I carried on relationships with several different men for a few years.  The last affair was different though.

Like me, this guy had been raised in the church.  We both knew better, but it continued for almost 2 years.  Over those 2 years, he separated me from my family and friends.  Each time that I had enough he would spend a weekend with me or take me somewhere and I would resign to wait for him again.

Living this way was very stressful.
I used antidepressants and alcohol to numb the pain. 

These drugs combined with stress gave me heart palpitations.  A friend at work was seeing a Christian counselor and suggested I go.  I had shared the affair with her and she herself was emotionally troubled as well.

After a few sessions of me trying to convince my counselor that I was in the right and he needed to just leave his wife because I loved him the way he said he wanted to be loved, she pulled out a Bible.  She went to John 4:1-26 — the story of the Samaritan woman at the well.

As she read it to me, my eyes were opened and I could see the deception and my own issues of needing to be loved by someone even if that someone was the wrong one.

That day I started recovery from relationship addiction and codependency.  It wasn’t easy, but God helped me through.  The Bible became my food and drink.  Breaking free from the affair required a spiritual battle as well.

At one point the agony was so strong I was scared for my life.  My counselor reminded me of the Passover.   That afternoon I took some cooking oil and prayed over it, smeared it on my doors and windows.  That night I slept soundly for the first time in two years.

I discovered that day in therapy that I had no secrets from God.  He knew exactly how I was living, even if I had only shared with a few of my closest friends.  He wanted more for me, and loved me enough to save me from myself and my past hurts.

Something else the Bible says is “many believed in Him because of the Samaritan woman’s testimony”.  This is my journey now.  To tell my story so that others may be encouraged.


messagepartWhat Happened Next?  More from Melanie on God’s Redemption, and Life after Her Worst Day: “I found a great church to attend while in recovery. After a few months, I noticed this guy who was there every time I was there. I knew I was broken, so he had to be like me, broken & bruised. We didn’t speak for a long time. I didn’t trust myself to even talk to him, but when he finally spoke to me it was different. He was different and I was different. He was a good guy. I had never given a good guy a chance before.

Our first conversation was over an hour long in the church parking lot. I knew that day that God had brought us together. I was truthful with him about what I was going through and that I was on a mission of purity. He was on a similar mission. We had a short, but sweet courtship and have been married almost 10 years now. We have four beautiful children in all and God has restored us both.”

What Happened When I Told My Husband I’d Cheated

There are so many moments that lead to a life-altering bad decision. They don’t usually happen in a split second – God gives us many opportunities to pick a different path. Once I started compromising, it was only a matter of time until I was so deep in bad decisions that it was almost impossible to see my way out.

I knew Jesus. I knew Him, and I denied Him. Five years into my marriage, I cheated on my husband twice, who was deployed in the military.

When my husband deployed, I plunged into a deep depression. I started going out with single friends from work as an escape. What started as occasional dinner became weekly nights out dancing and drinking. I became more daring, and started removing my wedding ring before going out. My “friends” supported my behavior – justifying that I “needed to have more fun.”

I don’t remember the details of precisely when I started going completely off the deep end. I do recall that I felt sick about cheating, and told no one. Soon though, I did it again, this time with someone I knew vaguely (rather than a complete stranger). The scenarios were always the same – I got drunk, and erratic, and just wanted to escape.

But the truth is, I was living in a personal hell.

I was twice driven to my knees, begging God to forgive me. Even after that, I was reckless for a few more weeks. I wish I could explain why I couldn’t just stop. When my husband came home from deployment, I was overjoyed — but I knew I couldn’t tell him what I had done. I knew he would divorce me, and I loved him, and I never wanted our marriage to end. Why did I do it then? Here’s the hard truth: my selfishness drove out any thought of anyone or anything other than myself and my immediate impulses.

I hid my sin from my husband for over five years.

A seemingly random DVD-watching Bible study, was how God urged me to confess to my husband. I still can’t believe it. And the reveal was worse than you can imagine – because I made it so, by not telling my husband the whole truth – I told him half the truth. But a week later, I heeded the Holy Spirit’s conviction AGAIN, and told my husband: “Actually I cheated on you TWICE, not just once.”

Here’s the miracle though: my husband, a non-believer when we met, a man who has never forgiven some of his closest family members for past hurts, FORGAVE ME. And the kicker – the Lord just keeps blessing me. It doesn’t seem real – and it doesn’t seem right, but I know deep in my heart that the Lord forgave me when I truly begged him for His forgiveness, and I also know that He honored my obedience when called me to obey Him and reveal the truth when I did.


Anonymous is a friend of Rebecca Halton’s, who was in the same Bible study as Anonymous when she went home to tell her husband.  We respect and support her decision to boldly come forward, even anonymously, as was best decided by her and her husband.

In lieu of a bio, we’ll also share that Anonymous says: “I pray you’ll learn from my mistakes. I pray you won’t make the mistakes I have endured. I pray you’ll ask for help. You’ll seek Jesus – when you think you shouldn’t, when you think you can’t. I pray you’ll become moved to follow Christ now – today and forever. I pray my wounds, deep and ugly as they are, transform more than just my own life, but bring great glory to God. Somehow, someway, the Lord keeps blessing me – and I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve any of it – but that’s why He sent his Son to die for me, and to take my sin on as His own. May Jesus’ name be glorified.”